In response to the '50 Rules for Dads of Daughters' blog

In response to the '50 Rules for Dads of Daughters' blog:

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

I never questioned if my dad loved my mom.

2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she adds years to her life… add life to her years.

We’ve always had quality time together.  Growing up my dad worked nights and he’d get home, maybe get a couple of hours a sleep and then we’d get up by 8:00 am to make lunch and head to White Water Bay for the day.  Just one example.  Now one of our quality time favorites is grabbing a lox and cream cheese bagel at Old School Bagel café and going to home stores to look at supplies and tools.

3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

No doubt about it.  I had a bad experience on a bus ride home one day and sprinted home crying to my dad about what happened…he took off sprinting to the house of the mean boy from the bus.

4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

We’ve done the crawling, keys to the car and the walk down the aisle.  You’re all wrong about “hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore.”  I’ll always enjoy hanging with my dad and last time I checked lox and cream cheese bagels aren’t going anywhere.

5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.

Well, right.

6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

We didn’t do the baseball thing, we did however do the football thing and I could throw farther than most guys.  And while my dad may have been worn out, he’d throw hundreds and hundreds of passes back and forth.  For my 16^th birthday I got a custom Miami Dolphin’s jersey with my name on it and the number 16.

7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

That’s a toughie.

8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

No pearls needed.

9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

Duh.  Friends and I used to want to go to Wal-Mart ridiculously late dressed in ridiculous gear, my dad would not only take us but dress up too.

10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

I hate baths.

11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

I got a puppy for Christmas when I was nine, my white Labrador, Molly.

12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

We opened an account when I was in elementary school.  I don’t know that it taught me anything but my dad is constantly giving me lessons in savings and money placement. 

13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice. 

My dad knows if he’s going to make me a pancake it better be doughy.  When I was little we would get donuts & chocolate milk before daycare.

14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

Chucks? Nah.  My mom definitely had the choice of my first shoes.

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait until her wedding day.

Dance, sing, you name it.  My mom said my dad would sing to me before I was born---I believe it. 

16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

Neither of us enjoy fishing.  But we do like to eat fish.

17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

He had no problem saying no, I just had a really hard time handling it.

18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

More importantly I was told things I was good at, how to improve and praised when I succeeded.  I was given as much opportunity as humanly possible to be involved with all sorts of things.  That's way better than constantly being told how you look.

19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you for help the first time it happens.

We know this isn’t going to happen.  I will call every time and now we have roadside assistance so changing a flat will never be in my future.

20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.

We did go camping, but I have THE worst allergies so it ended with an emergency room visit.  We also got certified to shoot guns or something like that.  I’m not sure, I was in elementary but it was fun.

21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

I did enjoy driving my dad's truck.

22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

This was never a concern.

23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.

Hugs & kisses…can’t get enough of them.  Just ask my husband.

24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help anyone get into college, good or bad.  But I was taught.

25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

Oh even when I was not tiny I would stand on my dad’s shoulders, be thrown on the trampoline, etc.  Now my dad has had multiple back and neck surgeries...

26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.

My dad slid down staircase railing and ended the landing with, “never grow up.”  I believe it’s the same implication.

27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

Splash park?  Weak.  White Water was our gig.

28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.

I also eagerly awaited getting home from school to fresh brownies in the fall.

29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.

Really?  Some dads question getting in the pool too?  My dad would be the one yelling, "CANNON BALL!"

30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

Miss my birthday?!  Are you kidding me?  Never, ever.  We love celebrating in our family.

31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.

I was enrolled in gymnastics at the age of 3, I didn’t need roller skating lessons to gain confidence.

32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

I’m not a fan of grass…back to the allergy thing.

33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.

I never really leaned towards risqué suits so this wasn’t necessary.

34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.

HaHa.

35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.

My parents had many sleepless nights thanks to my crawling in bed with them and constant kicking.  To this day I'm still not a fan of the dark.

36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

Another comforting thing is my Nana's homemade Mac-n-Cheese recipe that was passed down to my dad.

37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

I was fearless as a child.

38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.

Check.

39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.

TRUE.

40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

I actually never wanted a pony.

41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

Experiences aren’t just meant for holidays.

42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.

Until Jon and I lived together I was “home” nightly, well into my 20’s---mind you, I owned a house.

43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly someday. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

I once thought I wanted to go to Palm Beach Atlantic University, turns out not so much.  If you let someone spread their wings you’ll sometimes be surprised at how little they travel.

44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.

Too late to start this trend now. 

45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.

Agreed

46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

Certainly

47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Pish posh.

48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

I’ve never been a big ice cream fan, but my dad and I both love chocolate.  Chocolate cookies, cake, candy, fudge, etc.

49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

It’s not so awful.

50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.

I’m married.  He blinked.

OKC's Growth Spurt

Hello & Happy Sunday!

I have once again neglected the ol Blog-a-la-Mode.

I'm not much of a hermit, but if OKC keeps growing I'm going to be convinced I am.  I feel so behind on new restaurants and bars and if you haven't noticed---OKC's options have seriously expanded! 

We visited Packard's (http://packardsokc.com/) rooftop last night to celebrate a friend's birthday and it has made it to #1 for my favorite rooftop and patio.  I will say if you're strictly into domestic beers and cape cods it probably isn't the place for you---you will need to broaden your horizons.  Let your taste buds enjoy a different take on mixology.  I indulged in a French Tea (green tea infused vodka) and a Choc Summer Ale.  Sure, you'll spend a little more and have to visit the bar to order your drinks but it honestly didn't bother me.  You have a terrific view of our downtown skyline, which is no New York, but I happen to think it's pretty. They've done a really nice job at making the rooftop atmospherically pleasing, so if you're thinking it's similar to SKYY Bar, think again and then slap yourself; Blog-a-la-Mode doesn't do places like SKYY Bar.  The other upside to Packard's is the "Location, location, location!"  It's on NW 10th and Robinson, far enough north of Bricktown to not be a pain in the...abs...to get to.

Another new place I've visited and enjoyed recently:  Whiskey Cake (www.whiskeycakeokc.com), located in the Penn Square Mall parking lot more or less.  It is actually another New American Restaurant and Bar similar to Packard's.  However, they do have a larger variety of drinks for all you domestic loving beer drinkers.  Downside?  No happy hour and no view.  They do have an inviting patio, but it lands in the parking lot and that doesn't rock my world.  I will say the staff is super friendly and knowledgeable, makes spending non-happy hour money easier.  PLUS, now that I'm living north side, it is nice to have a trendy restaurant/bar nearby.  Something cool?  They have blocks of ice and use a chain saw to cut it, so when you order specific drinks and receive a single, large chunk of ice in your bev...don't get annoyed, there was a lot of effort put into that piece.  Also, if you're expecting it to be anything like its predecessor, Elephant Bar, you're in for a treat.  They have revamped the interior...for the better.  And don't even get me started on their whiskey cake...there's no way I can compile a sentence strong enough to make you understand it's deliciousness.

Okay Oklahomies, Eat, Drink & Be Merry!

"Attitude of Gratitude"

I'm not sure how everyone's 2013 is going but mine is pretty excellent.

I know it was Mother's Day weekend, but I have to brag about both of my parents for a second. They have set such an example if Jon and I have children. There was never a birthday that didn't have a party, never a good grade that didn't get excitement and never, ever, ever an idea turned down. Even when I told my dad, "I want to build a bench in a tree" when I was younger. The lucky new homeowners on Lochwood Drive gained such a cool piece. I can honestly say I never heard my parents say anything was impossible. To this day, I still take creative projects to my dad and he still gets this face where he's thinking how to construct it and says, "Let me see what I can do." It never fails my project is completed and awesome. If only my brain operated like his! My mom holds my secrets and is my go-to person for everything-stressful-and-exciting. If you're down and needing a boost, she's the one to talk to. Not to mention she wholeheartedly understands my OCD for attention to detail and organization! If not for her, our wedding would still be in the beginning stages.  This is all pretty minimal compared to the novel I should write about them. 

Onto other things. Jon and I are wedding planning and other than wine choices, we're having a successful time doing so!  My mom is seriously a rock star at this wedding planning stuff.  I swear she could be making money doing all of it.  My dad is equally enjoying wedding planning, although we're not going with his idea of having guests wear Halloween costumes.  Or are we?!


It's pretty cool planning something this great that only happens once in your life as well as seeing all the love and support from friends and family.  I've always sort of charted people's interest in your life by things they show up for and support you at.  I'll never forget the art shows in college where I had photos displayed and the great friends that attended, kept me company and checked out my work.  It really does speak volumes.  Even dinner parties, birthdays, soirees, etc.  it's always extremely nice to have people show.  Sure, as humans we get tired, maybe have no interest in art, have a TV show to sacrifice, might have no "me-time" hours left in the day or flat out aren't up to doing something, but when you care about people---you.show.up.  That, ladies and gentleman is a little thing called 'support.'  Make like a bra and support.

Majoring in photography I often turn to my friends to be my subjects, have them wear ridiculous things and help me with strange concepts; thinking back I'm not 100% sure I always show my gratitude like I should.  Anytime someone takes time out of their life to dedicate the hands on the clock to someone else exhibits an immeasurable amount of generosity.  Don't argue with me. I'm right.

This weekend Jon and I are going to our Engagement Fiesta (yes, fiesta.)  and can hardly wait.  I seriously will not be able to accomplish much until after the 18th.  One of my very best friends, Kat and her parents are hosting this fabulous event and knowing them, it will be one for the books!

Apparently I was needing to express some gratitude in this post.  Something you can never show too much of.

Happy Monday, All.

Keep it in Perspective

The closer I become to a Mrs. the more I slack on my blogging.  Thought I'd share a little insight about our upcoming big day.  I will start off with my response to anyone and everyone who have told me a few of the following:

"Wedding planning is so stressful."
No, it isn't.  I have yet to encounter the stress of planning a wonderful event.  Don't be fooled newly engaged couples---it doesn't have to be stressful, they are just trying to bring you down with them!

"The wedding is for the bride."
It's OUR big day.  I'm not exchanging vows with myself and we'll probably never exchange more powerful words in our life. So no, it isn't about me, the bride.  My advice to a bride who thinks this marvelous occasion is about you: cancel the wedding, throw a party.  It'll save you in divorce fees.

"Oh, you already live together so nothing will change."
THANKFULLY.  It is nice to have stuff under our belt (pun intended) as we enter into a new adventure.  Marriage is one thing, learning someones living habits---an entire different experience.  This isn't just about guys, ladies we have our quirks too.

"We didn't want to offend anyone so we invited a lot of people."

We aren't out to offend anyone either.  We'd just like to be pretty certain the people in attendance are there in celebration of our marriage and not for the cake and drinks.  There's an immense difference in someone you met five years ago and someone who is a part of your life.  And let's be honest, offending someone comes with the slightest of occurrences anymore, you can't avoid it.


"Girls only go to weddings to judge them."

Bravo?  Last time I checked the only judgement necessary for a marriage is that of the church.  It isn't a competition.  Girls will be girls, friends will be friends, figure out which is more important and don't invite the others.  You choose your guests.  Guests only responsibility is to be the recipient of hospitality and take part in a significant milestone....while enjoying yourself and dancing the night away, of course!


Although I have heard a multitude of negatives, I am truly thankful for all the positives I've heard from friends who have gone through this exciting time. 


Cheers, lovebirds.

"Ring" in the New Year

Happy 2013 and what a great start it is off to!

We started our New Year's Eve off with a trip to The Mantel with Emily & Nathan.  Jon and I met at The Mantel exactly two years ago on New Year's Eve so the night was already headed in a special direction.  For the first time since we met, I looked at the table where we sat across from each other two years ago and could actually remember feeling different about this one.  I remember that famous line "When you know you know" all of a sudden making sense.

As we sat at our present day dinner we discussed taking a picture outside of the restaurant by the sign for just fun memorabilia.  Shortly after this conversation I went to the restroom, at this time Jon let Emily and Nathan in on the plan---to propose after dinner!  I return, and thinking back now, no one seemed to be withholding any secrets.  Kudos to our parents and friends for their poker faces!

Towards the end of dinner I ask Jon if he'd like to finish the rest of my steak---he replied "No"...very rare answer.  His stomach was being weird and we all blamed it on the dirty martinis so I didn't think anything of it.

As we made our way outside to hail a cab (weird to say in Oklahoma) and to take our picture in front of the sign at The Mantel, Luke and Lacy coincidentally just finished their dinner at Nonna's and were heading over to greet us.  I'm standing in front of the restaurant waiting impatiently in the cold to get our picture taken, Lacy hops in a photo with me with the question "Are you engaged?!"  She asked this about 30 seconds before Jon stepped in for a picture with the line "There's something on my shoe..." as he knelt down on one knee; much to my surprise there wasn't anything on his shoe, but there was something in a box and it came with the line, "Will you marry me?"  Never have I ever been happier about one person and four words.  The ring is really special too.  It was Jon's mom's first ring from his dad...how neat is that?!

I'm not a very expressive person when it comes to explaining how I feel about someone, it's just something I haven't tampered with enough to get comfortable with.  I will say when Jon and I first met my mom asked, "Where do you see this going?" and my response was, "I don't see it ending."  I'm happy to say my prediction was right.

We went on to celebrate the New Year and the new engagement with great friends and family at our home. 


Happy 2013 Everyone, stay tuned for our wedding plans!