Today is my sweet husband's 34th birthday--I love birthdays, age makes no difference.
This Friday has been one of joy, sadness and exhaustion. I'm finding myself dedicating specific emotions towards the appropriate situations. Brains are pretty miraculous to juggle it all and keep you functioning.
With my dad still being very sick from his surgery, I accompanied my mom at the closing of their new home this morning. My dad has really been looking forward to their new house. He's been monitoring the building process and it's been nice for him to have something to look forward to other than occupational therapy. It was sad for him to miss signing the bazillion pieces of paper. My dad doesn't miss things, he just doesn't and never has. Oh you worked today so you're too tired to do something? That's not my dad's M.O. he's never been too tired, too hurt, too anything to not just be there for it all. Of course, this was an understandable absence.
While waiting for the closing my mom received a call that my Granny's urn had arrived from Africa. It's surreal. How many people wait for someone's flight who have passed? It's been a first for us. My mom is running on autopilot right now. I'm talking do not get in her way; there's not the slightest jokinginess in my tone. A lot of you probably don't know that she spent day and night for three weeks at the hospital with my dad. Day and night, folks. My family has most definitely been spoiled by my mom's dedication. Miranda Priestly has nothing on Tammy Mass.
About two weeks into the three week stay she received the phone call that her mother, my granny, had passed away overnight. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we had been through enough? If this were a wrestling match I tapped out a long time ago. My granny lived in Africa the past 26+ years. I would tell you what all she's done but eBlogger might cut me off. She was in the process of moving back to the United States and was a very lively, well travelled person with a lot to say and was the perfect example of a helper bee. After my dad's emergency my mom and granny had been talking daily, my mom found it peculiar when she didn't hear from her on Friday, December 27th. I didn't and may not fully process her passing. My mom called me that morning and said, "Is Jon with you? I'd like to talk to him." This was odd, but she wanted to make sure I wasn't alone when she told me. I think at this point I had poured all emotions into my dad's traumatic experience and didn't have much left to give. I was more upset thinking about my mom. Fist in gut moment. In one aspect we're so very grateful for my dad and then you're hit with another downer.
The next few days and weeks didn't give us much time for grieving. My mom had to correspond with the US Embassy, "friends" and attorneys of my Granny's in Africa and more. These were all people we'd never met, spoken to or known. With Africa being so corrupt the communication with these strangers brought a lot of doubt and questionable motives. My mom is, without a doubt, the most admirable person. If I even get an ounce of her determination in life I'll be set. When I said do not get in her way, this wasn't a local demand---this means you too, Africa.
So here we are. Jon's birthday, closing on a home, Granny's return to the US and dad's journey of recovery. Each has it's own good, but the situations themselves aren't all good.
We continue to be very appreciative of the constant support from close friends. One of Jon's words he teaches his 6th graders is "initiative." I can't thank everyone enough for taking initiative with your support.
Here's a video if you're interested...it has a happy ending if that helps. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9LR90A4D7Q
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