Golden Rule

I'm not sure what cobweb the 'Golden Rule' climbed out of, but it managed to get in my brain this afternoon.  My brain doesn't let things go easily so it had to dissect the ole GR.

We've all heard it, whether biblically (Luke 6:31) or from a teacher at some time: "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

Starting as young as kindergarten I remember having a birthday party and HAVING to invite the whole class as to not hurt any one's feelings.  We grow up (hopefully) and let go of that rule.  I've gotten to the point where I don't feel the need to go over and beyond for everyone or to go out of my way to include someone in a soiree to pamper their emotions.  Let's be honest, I'm not the pampering kind. 

Since you weren't invited to an event you decide to throw the infamous pity party.  You've decided that someone deliberately set out to hurt your feelings. 

There are things Jon and I are invited to and things we're not.  To be honest, I/we normally have enough going on that it's a relief to not be invited sometimes.  I always feel an obligation to attend or guilt for not attending.  I'd like to think I lie more on the "no big deal" side of the line.  But if you're not sure, I thought I'd provide a little list and maybe you'll find some relief in the reasoning:

Why You Weren't Invited

1.  It has nothing to do with you.  A little bird who doesn't favor you got in the ear of the host and the host decided to keep drama out of the event.  Makes sense.  If you're Heath you invite them anyway to see what kind of drama can develop.

2.  Your significant other isn't favored amongst the crowd.  Again, nothing to do with you---but let's be honest, nobody wants the disliked lover to interfere with a good time.

3.  Poor attendance log.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, when you've been rejected so many times in any sort of relationship you eventually throw your hands in the air.  No one dislikes you, you're just a flake.

4.  Attention whore.  You tend to wear people out.  While you're fun to grab drinks with, some events are better left to be even keel.

5.  Restriction on number of guests.  You've really got to be rational on this one.  You probably aren't going to be chosen over the best friend of 10 years.  You're not unimportant, you're just lacking a few years. 

6.  No one has heard from you in months.  Reciprocity, folks. Relationships require an equal effort on both sides; sort of neighbors #3.  You're not disliked, but your lack of communication is.

7.  You've grown apart.  Sigh.  It was fun while it lasted.

8.  You don't mesh.  This isn't offensive, you just normally look like you're having a bad time and you don't branch out.  It's really seen to be in your favor to not be invited. 

9.  The "no thanks" type.  You don't eat, drink or even sit.  The corner is your BFF and you make people feel uncomfortable.  You require a lot of effort; you're an infant in a social affair.  Indulge a little!

10.  You're an acquaintance.  The host really enjoys your company, but mentally battled inviting you and having to spend a significant amount of time with you to make you feel welcome and involved.    After a few more happy hours and dinners you'll get more invites.  Hang in there.

11.  You're just not liked.  Family, friend, acquaintance, pet, whatever you may be.  We're not in kindergarten and we don't have to invite the whole class anymore.  It's not a requirement to like everyone and that is praiseworthy.

12.  "Your invitation got lost in the mail."  Not really, but you were accidentally forgotten about. Don't make matters worse.  Accept it and move on.


No matter what you are or are not invited to---Eat, Drink & Be Merry.