Winnerview vs. Interpoo

If you're a close friend you know I recently left my 8-5 job.  I am looking for new employment, but it has been a nice break to focus on my photography business and to just take a breather and hit the reset button.  Plus, I have a really supportive husband, who, if you didn't know, just got

TEACHER OF THE YEAR!
(Insert balloons, noise poppers & confetti)

I have been interviewing at multiple places.  I have taken this opportunity to take a step back and really come to terms with what line of work I'd really be interested in. 

I was so excited when I was fresh out of college and was hired for my first "Big kid job" with GBR Properties, Inc., a commercial real estate company.  While it was a great starting point, it wasn't somewhere I was meant to ground myself.  I enjoyed my time at Phuel Marketing, but I was more or less paddling in a stagnant environment.  My last position with M&N Holding Company was a whole new experience and one that was needed, but I would gladly decline to have again.  I'm not an auto industry gal, shocker.

I am finally at a point where I am ready to enjoy what I'm getting paid to do every day.  It's a big deal when you get to this point and you shouldn't allow for any exceptions.  I'm being very cautious and really reflecting on available jobs.

Interviews are not fun.  I don't like the unknown.  I'm very much a planner and I get very anxious going into interviews not knowing what information I should keep at the forefront of my brain.  I inherit this quality from my mom.

I don't know that I have the answers for interviewing, but I do know that I have my go-to routine.  If you don't have a go-to routine, this might help you, if you're a female.  Aside from researching the position and company,  I strongly believe your outward appearance is about 60% why a company would consider you.

I spend a good 30-60 minutes reading about positions.  You should know the ins and outs and present yourself as a knowledgeable individual.  After all, would you hire an idiot?  We both know the answer to that.

Lipstick.  I really consider my bright reds and pinks to be good luck and up to this point it has really seemed to work in my favor.  Consider your face art, would you want to look at gloomy art every day or something uplifting and creative?  I assume most employers don't want a dreary human being to work with.  I also think how you compose yourself shows how you would compose your assignments and projects.  Here are a few of my go-to sticks:

 

Clinique chubby stick intense - Mightiest Maraschino $17.00
MAC - Amplified $16.00
Lancôme Color Design - Red Stiletto $22.50
Estee Lauder Pure Color Envy - Tumultuous Pink $30.00
Lancôme - Rouge in Love $28.50
Revlon Colorburst - Fuchsia $7.00+
*You'll notice I have some low sticks because I use them until the very end!  I wouldn't dare waste any.

Shoes.  The sassier, the better.  There is a vivid difference between sassy heels and trashy heels---it's important to know the difference.  I'm a strong believer in pointy-toed shoes.  For me they exude a feeling of power over the round toe.  Again, this is clearly my personal opinion and I'm stuck in my ways.  Plus, I feel like I look childlike in round toe shoes.  Not a good look when applying to work for a corporation.

Antonio Melani from Dillard's

 Resume.  YAWN.  Liven it up!  Unless black and white describes you, then by all means stick to your personality.  I'm not a black and white type person, I like color and prefer most things to have a creative flair.  After being someone who had to look at resumes, they all look the same after a while.  But not this bad boy of mine (excuse the blurring effects, you're really not missing out on much)...

While first impressions aren't everything, they are a big thing.  And if you're not first, you're last---go have yourself a winnerview!

Lipsticks also make great gifts and stocking stuffers :)

TGIF

Secrets of the Auto Industry

I was recently working for a company that owns around 18 car dealerships.  I learned a thing or two about the gimmicks and decided, hey, I bet you guys would like to know, too.  You're welcome.

1.  Tell us to quit calling.  There is a 28 day process that everyone has to follow, which means we have to attempt to contact you for 28 days.  We will inevitably blow up your phone and email like a middle school girl with a crush.  The only way around this is to answer and tell us to quit calling.  After 28 days you're put on a "Long Term Contact" list, so we will still continue to call from time to time. 

2.  No, you cannot buy a car and get another one for $1.00, this is what is known as a "gimmick" and I honestly feel bad for you all that think it's true. 

3.  Fine print.  Dealerships know fine print better than anyone, so even if you think the deals you see on TV or hear on the radio are gospel, there is fine print that covers the dealers arse in order to not actually follow thru on that unbelievable deal.

4.  "I left my cards in the store, would you come up there with me so I can get you one?"  He didn't leave his cards in the store.  They feel as though once they have you in the store you are mush.  Suggestion?  Ask the salesperson for their name and number to put in YOUR phone.   Do not give out your contact information...this will also help prevent #1 from happening.

5.  "Let me introduce you to my manager."  No offense to the mangers, but it's just a title.  Everyone in the auto industry gains a fairly decent title.  Meeting the manager is no honor and it's just another devious strategy to make you believe they value you.  They want your money, that's it.

6.  Most online prices are not accurate.  They normally include all rebates and discounts, some of which you don't even qualify for.  There is also small print to cover this shameless tactic.

7.  "You're prequalified for $25,000"  You're not special.  We pay for statistics based off of available credit information and then you receive this piece of paper making you think your credit score has gone from 400 to 800.  It hasn't.  We are just trying to get you into the dealership and get you to spend money you and I both know you don't have.  Normally you won't be approved and if you are, it's certainly not for $25,000. 

8.  I often spoke with customers who would start off with, "I have really bad credit, my house went into foreclosure and my car was repossessed.  I'd like to see what I qualify for."  We follow up with this response: "We have multiple finance options that fit most any situation.  Would you like to schedule a time with our finance manager?"  See...always trying to get you into the store.  What I want to say is, "Do you really think you should be trying to purchase a vehicle in your current financial state?" 

9.  While your debating signing the paperwork for a new vehicle, another sales person comes in and says, "Hey, did they buy that car?  There's a guy here that is ready to take it."  YAWN.  This is a tiring maneuver they pull to put the pressure on.  Don't fall for it.  You need to respond with, "Let him have it." 

10.  If you think salesman and dealerships are slimy, so are their corporate offices.  They basically all went on that Nickelodeon show and got slimed together.  They are not only dishonest with their customers, but also with their employees.  So all those negative thoughts you have about dealerships, I'm here to confirm their validity.

With all of this, I hope you'll go into your next vehicle purchase a little wiser and less naïve.  I do have dealerships I would suggest avoiding, but you can direct message me for the names.

Vroom-Vroom,

April

  

Taking the FREE out of Photografree

Most know I work an 8-5 job and then have my photography business on the side and by side I mean photoshoots on weekends and editing during week nights.  I shouldn't even say "side" because it's really just a second full time job.  I have two entrees on my plate.

This works great for me.  I majored in photography and I love it.  It's nice to utilize your degree but not have to rely on it so you still gain some enjoyment.  I'm on the higher end of generosity.  I don't say this to receive any accolades, I'm just saying it to say that generosity can be hard and generosity is easily taken advantage of.

This year more than others I have been gifting individuals with "FREE" photoshoots.  Jon soon let me know that I need to take that 4 letter word out of my vocabulary.  Apparently it doesn't speak highly about the value of my work.  There are scenarios that I absolutely don't mind giving the gift of a photoshoot, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how right he was.  Dang it.  That one time in your whole life when your husband is right. (wink, wink)

I don't have my contractor come to my house and expect him to wire electricity for free.  I don't expect a plumber to take time out of his day to service my toilets for free.  Even when my dad helps me with projects I get him a gift.  And I'm certainly not indebted to anyone enough to owe them my service of photography for free.

I know the world of photography has become so saturated.  Damn you, Pinterest.  The way I see it is, I generally find a recipe on Pinterest that looks easy enough, so I attempt it.  My chef success rate is probably 40%, on a good day.  This is how a lot of you are with photography, painting, design and artistic paths.  You see these pins online of some serious talent and think "I could do that!" Maybe you can, but there's a difference in a hobby and a business.

Starting a creative business with no experience is really a bold move.  Those of us who went to school for four years or have studied this art are wide-eyed at your approach.

With that being said, I could easily see hobbyists offering free photoshoots.  I mean, why not?  Free is a great way to learn.  No one can be upset at your 40% success rate and heck, you may even realize that it's not all it's cracked up to be.  Plus, it's expensive.  Photography. Is. Expensive.  If you do it right.

So, I've decided to take my four year Oklahoma City University degree and make an income out of it. I have simplified my reasoning to this:

I am offering a service.   

I don't regret giving the gift of photography, but free is something I need to escape in order to grow as an artist.  Surely you can agree with me on that.

Of course I have those nearest and dearest to me who I'd never expect a penny from.  But that list is full and I'm not accepting any applicants.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to my photography the past seven years.  It really means the world to me that you trust me with this art.  I'm always thrilled for a photoshoot and plan for this to never change.

{TGIF}

Life as a Professional

I thought I'd reflect a little on the work place and what to expect and what not to expect.

When I got my first big kid job out of college, I worked with men.  I interviewed with three men and I thought I would die from nervousness.  Just know, every workplace needs a woman, but not a lot of them.  No offense to my own kind, but you all are t-r-o-u-b-l-e.  My second job also entailed a male environment.  Sure, if you get offended easily and don't have a sense of humor, you probably should only work in a female oriented location, but even that has it's battles.  

I now sit at a job where I am isolated, but am surrounded by women.  I overhear conversations about who parked too close to who, who rolled her eyes, who has a monotone voice and the list goes on.  These are real live conversations, folks.  It wears me out and I'm just a bystander.

My mom told me a long time ago that girls never change, they never stop gossiping.  I'm sure she shared this with me when I was hysterical about someone being mean.  I tell you this so you don't go into a professional atmosphere expecting a sorority mentality to be gone from the females around you.  I also tell you this as a warning.  Everyone knows who the "Office Gossip" is and nobody likes them.  Just don't do it.  Girl's are manipulative, you won't even know you've joined their team until it's too late.

Working with men isn't always rainbows and butterflies either.  Even the professional ones in suits are gross, perverse and childish.

Moving on.

Need a new job?  You're on your own.  People won't help you find a job.  They don't care.  Most of the people you ask aren't happy with their own job, why would they find something better for you? Even with all their connections* they are generally useless.  I've had one person legitimately find me a job and somehow she found me my last two, thanks Abster.

*Connections:  Things people say they have but when it comes down to it, they know no one.

Trust me, I've put plenty to the test.  Everyone has the best, most important job and knows the President of the United States, but when you ask for a little networking opp, they have suddenly entered a state of amnesia.

It's not their fault.  I get it.  Nobody wants to admit their job isn't really that great.  Just be proud to be employed, nobody needs to hear you talk yourself up, especially if it doesn't get me anywhere.

So what have we learned today?  Women are women and people are people.

Go tackle the world!

Anything Could Happen

Yes, Ellie Goulding, anything could happen.

If this year was equivalent to an Easter basket I would feel really bad for the rest of you because I got all the eggs.  ALL OF THEM.  I even got rotten ones, which was rude, but nonetheless, I got them.

I'm going to stay on this subjeggt, actually. Get it, Subj-egg-t? Subject, people, subject.  Stay with me.

We all know there's some good eggs and some bad eggs in this spinning globe.  Actually, some of you still believe we're all good, but you haven't met the people I have.  You'd change your mind real quick.  Normally you don't know an egg is bad until you crack into it.  Same goes for humans.  Hypothetically, not physically.  But a physically cracked human would also be considered bad.

Generally speaking, I, along with most of you, get along with just about anyone.  This usually occurs until the moment you see someone for who they are.  That damn moment ruins everything.  Here you are, thinking you are just a happy-go-lucky person with friends left and right and then that moment.  That damn moment. You, me, all of us need that moment.  Sometimes people can bounce back from it.  You know when doctors ask you "What's your pain on a scale from 1-10?"  You can use the same scale to judge the severity of that damn moment.  Anything between 1-5 can usually be worked out, but 6-10 is debatable.  I believe I've had some moments exceed 10.  Can you say "SAYANARA?"

Once I realized it's not mandatory to like everyone, circa 2010, my selection of humans got narrowed down.  We were all blessed with gut feelings.  I just happen to go with mine.  There's not a manual on gut feelings, BTW.  And doctors can't activate them for you.

Back to my Easter basket.  I had some surprising eggs that looked like solid gold turn out to be complete crap.  Slap.in.the.face.  I definitely didn't have my Willy Wonka moment with any gold wrappers.  Obviously Charlie took them all.  Way to go, Charlie.  Way to freaking go.

Reaching to my "Name of the Game" post.  Jon asked "What is loyalty to you?"  I honestly could not articulate a sentence that sounded the way I felt.  I have always considered loyalty to be knowing someone well enough to know their intentions, motives and character.  When you know those things I think in a controversial situation you'll be able to stand your ground, loyally.  I've witnessed people neglect their loyalty and to me it's generally unforgivable.  Like I said, loyalty is not meant for the weak.  You'd be surprised who is weak.

I should provide you with some helpful feedback about my learning curve this year.  All I can say is, never underestimate a persons ability to surprise you.  Myself included.  I'm full of surprises.  Happy to share the good ones, but capable of sharing bad ones...if I absolutely have to (In my head I say this with complete sass and a complimentary stare down).

Have an eggcellent day.  Surprise others the way you'd like to be surprised.

Name of the Game

This year I think the name of the game is "What is loyalty?"  I'd say I'm a fairly loyal person.  And I use the word 'fairly' to sound less conceited about my loyalty, because let's be honest I went to the high dive and dove straight into the pool of loyalty.  I'm all in.

Girl's have it rough.  And maybe it's not just girls, maybe it's all of us humans.  I just know more about females, because, well, I am one.  Girl's fall in love easily and we fall in hate even easier.  We love one thing, we fake love another and then we hate it all within 5 minutes.  You think I'm kidding?  We are nuts.  We literally have the ability to be all over the map.  Don't ask how, it's just in our DNA.

While I am a female, always and forever, loud and proud, I like to think I'm pretty decisive.  I don't have a problem making decisions.  I don't back down from controversy, although there are certainly times that I would've benefited had I done so.  And when I have your back  I also manage to have your front.  I've got you covered.  I have friends, family and then those who don't exist.  I don't believe in letting bad energy linger.  That's my coping mechanism.  I didn't say it was right, but it's mine and you can borrow it.

When Jon and I met I knew I found my personal security guard.  My personal, free counselor.  My personal devil's advocate.   And ultimately someone I would personally defend until the end.  And when I say the end, I would definitely be the person in a movie you think you killed, but then I get a second wind.  I'm that character.  You won't win.  I come from a line of intense personalities.

I sound like a real bad ass.  But at the end of the day, there are still issues and situations that go unsettled.  It's not a good feeling, it's more of a flu-like feeling.  But I believe that comes with loyalty.  Loyalty isn't easy.  It wasn't designed to be easy.  It doesn't give you warm fuzzies and make you want to play with butterflies.  It makes you defensive and before you know it you've created a mental ninja.  The good thing about loyalty is you'll never be in pain from straddling the fence.  You're allotted one side and one side only.  It's not meant for the weak.

It's okay to be loyal and choose a side.  It's okay to create some tension by doing the right thing.  I will say there seems to be a few different routes to the "right thing."  Some are messy and you will inevitably choose a path at some point that leads you to a battlefield.  You will have a few regrets, unkind words will be exchanged, but then you'll have your Oprah A-Ha moment and realize you did the right thing.  And that's greater than regret, sweeping conflict under a rug and worth all the battle wounds.  Plus, people will trust you and trust is hard to come by.

We've all heard The Fray's All at Once lyric "Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."  They absolutely are the same.  Unless you're saving a puppy from traffic, that's not hard.

Of course my blogs stem from experience.  I could elaborate, but you don't have time and neither do I.  All I can say is you choose people.  My friend Hayley sent a funny Bill Murray quote, "Friendship is so weird.. you just pick a human you've met and you’re like “yep I like this one” and you just do stuff with them."  Pick your humans wisely.  There are good ones and there are bad ones.  I encourage encountering them all, otherwise you'll never know the difference.

Happy Sunday.

So, I don't like to run.  In fact, I get a very sad feeling when I think I'm about to.  However, I have been going to the gym these past few mornings (two mornings, I've gone two mornings) and now feel like I am up for anything.

Actually, my dad, yes the one who just had a massive emergency cardiac surgery, wants to do a 5k.  Being fairly healthy it'd be really rude to make him run alone.  While looking into 5ks coming up this fall, a friend encouraged doing the Dirty 30 Race.  Being that I'm in super shape from working out these past two mornings, I decided to sign up!  We'll be Tulsa bound to dive into some mud this August.  Jon is joining us too, but he enjoys running.  Somehow a lot of you enjoy running.  I'm hoping the dirty 30 obstacle course involves more obstacles than running.  I don't mind getting my heart rate up, but I do mind doing it in the form of running.

If we're talking about a solo cardio activity, cycling is where its at, or weight lifting.  I don't even mind riding my bicycle against gale force winds, my heart rate has gotten up to 170 so if you think I'm taking the easy way out...I'm not.

Okay enough talk about burning calories, let's talk about eating calories.

On Friday Jon and I visited H&8th again. We got there at 7, paced the trucks and opted for gumbo from La Gumbo YaYa.  It was good, but it wasn't exactly cold outside so maybe not the best decision.  Obviously we needed to cool down...with shaved ice from Huey's Shaved Ice.  If you see Huey's Shaved Ice truck somewhere, just stop.  Don't question yourself.  Stop.  Order yourself a wedding cake shaved ice with sweet cream AND ice cream.  You will consider me a bestie if you do this.  I can't lie, I am really not super into H&8th.  I don't like dodging people, getting chased down by strollers and there was almost a dog fight.  A DOG FIGHT.  If a dog cannot hang at an event like a human adult it probably needs to stay home where it can only bite itself.  Am I right?

Moving on...the Thunder game (sad talk) was Saturday night and Heath & Brett invited us to their new favorite Edmond barstaurant (bar/restaurant), Bricktown Brewery (in Edmond).  I really enjoyed it.  The good thing about traveling north is you can a) always find parking and b) find a seat.  Need I say more?  I had a really good time AND they had a happy hour---we didn't get there until 7ish and they were still having a HAPPY HOUR!  This is huge, folks.

Enjoy the weekend.  And if you're in the market for a photographer I thoroughly enjoy what I do: www.aprilmass.zenfolio.com {Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | LinkedIn}

Take it Outside

If you're like me, when this nice weather rolls around you'd rather be outdoors.  For as much as I dislike camping, I spent an immense amount of time outside this weekend.

Saturday morning Jon and I went for a walk/jog at Lake Hefner.  Part of that was a lie, I've made it clear how much running and I don't get along.  I did jog for about 4 minutes total and then realized I still don't like torturing myself.  Jon pushed through, that little champion.

Later Saturday morning I took my mom to KD's Southern Cuisine.  It was our first time.  If you haven't been, what are you waiting for?  KD is our MVP, you owe it to him.  I would suggest going early if you can.  We had a reservation for 11:15 and got there around 10:50 (yes, we're always unusually early)  there was a lot of parking available which is always a relief.

The service was excellent.  Probably the top service I've had in a long while.  Our server, Felicia, was very enthusiastic and knowledgeable about the menu.  She was funny and had great suggestions.  We started with the cornbread, per Felicia's recommendation.  I mean, when it comes to me and bread you really can't go wrong, but this bread was so right.  It came with butter that had orange marmalade in it---need I say more?  We also indulged in a Momosa (I am being clever, I know how to spell mimosa).  I've had a hankering for catfish and we both coincidentally ordered the fried catfish---like mother, like daughter I suppose.  What we didn't know was that one plate would actually feed a small village and there we were with two plates.  True Southern style, portions for days.  Sure we were completely stuffed after our entrée, but what's a holiday if you don't have a dessert?  We shared the peach cobbler.  No complaints! 

After that I did some shopping, you know, to walk off my Buddha belly.  Then I was hoping my friend HP was free to meet me for a margarita.  Thankfully she was.  We sat on the patio at Iguana in Nichols Hills.  I'd like to think we were just celebrating Cinco de Mayo late with our queso, guacamole, salsa and pitcher of margaritas but let's be honest we'd get that any day. Plus, Iguana is a Keep it Local joint.  Even if I only save $0.10 I still feel really accomplished.

Then we walked down to Organic Squeeze.  I'll be honest, I am not one who dove into this organic movement.  In fact, most of what I eat is probably very inorganic.  Don't roll your eyes, I'm not anti-organic, I'm just pro-all foods.  I ordered the Spicy Thai smoothie.  It was a new experience for this palate of mine.  I obviously liked it because I revisited OS this week for breakfast, a maple pecan smoothie to be exact.  This is also a Keep It Local spot.  Treat yourself...it's on you.

Sunday morning Jon and I decided with the 25+ mile per hour winds it would be a good idea to ride our bikes from our sweet home guarding us from Santa Ana gusts to the lake....around the lake...and back.  I'm not really someone who pushes through a physical struggle with a grin.  I was pretty miserable riding at -2 mph (sarcasm, I got up to at least 5mph).  15ish miles later we finally made it home.  Don't let this discourage you from getting into cycling, it really is a great form of exercise and much kinder on your body than that curse word: RUNNING.

Get out, try new things, enjoy the great outdoors and check the winds first.

More OKC Reviews

I gave you 5 new places I visited during my last blog, today I'd like to give you some not-first-time-visits (just go with it) reviews over restaurants, bars, bistros, and more in OKC.  As my former professor, Jerry Stewart, used to say, "Let's rock and roll!"

Kitchen No. 324 http://kitchen324.com/
Other than 324 being the first three digits of my land line growing up (ah, nostalgia) this downtown kitchen has a lot to offer.  I have only been for breakfast right at opening (7 am) with Heather, my morning buddy.  I normally opt for the cathead biscuit with chorizo gravy and sometimes if I'm feeling wild I'll add the poached egg.  The cathead biscuit is so good, but due to the name I felt it was only necessary to ask what made it a "cathead" biscuit---it's about the size of a cat's head, of course!  Silly April, get with the program.  I'm not a cat fan, but this didn't deter me from this carb heaven.

Service has always been great.  They couldn't have chosen a better location and I could be wrong, but I think this is the first restaurant of it's kind in the business district of downtown OKC?  Winning all around. 

I realized I am not sharing an important bit of info with you, the unusually affordable price:

Cathead Biscuit with Chorizo Gravy:  $3.99 (poached egg .99 cents extra)
Coffee:  $2.99

You can get out of this breakfast under ten, y'all.  Don't forget the tip.  Never, ever forget the tip.

Jamil's Steakhouse
I went here a few times growing up and then recently saw a Groupon for Jamil's for $49.50 for two people.  Before you continue reading, just go ahead and purchase this Groupon:  http://www.groupon.com/deals/jamil-s-steakhouse-3  you'll thank me later.

I once bought a Groupon for a Bed and Breakfast in Eureka Springs where I discovered Jon has an aversion for old homes.  I tell you this to clue you in on Jamil's architectural space---it appears to be an old home.  Don't be afraid, Jon actually enjoyed the space and wasn't ready to run.  Moving right along...

With the Groupon we received two of the following:

Starters
Cabbage Rolls
Hummus with fresh pita bread
Veggies
Tabbouleh
Smoked Bologna
*This was just the beginning

Entrée
Steak & Shrimp with a baked potato
Steak & Chicken with a baked potato

Dessert
Chocolate Cake

All of this scrumptious food for $49.50---you'd be a fool to not purchase this Groupon.  We also indulged in a White Russian (for moi) and whiskey for my whiskey connoisseur husband.  We were both equally pleased with our cocktails.

So, if you're looking for some Cow-laries (haha) head over to Jamil's.

Waffle Champion http://www.wafflechampion.com/
I almost feel like I need to give WC larger recognition than others because this was the first place I caved and tried the infamous Chicken & Waffles.  Those of you scrounging your face thinking, "NEVER"  I was right there with you.  Not only are the waffles fluffy and delightful, the chicken has one of the best flavors I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing.  But, before I go on and on about the food, you must know the one thing I crave from there almost daily:  Maine Root Soda.  They have a MAINE ROOT SODA fountain.  This was new to me, but now I'm basically a school girl head over hills for this piece of heaven.  I'll share with you my secret combo:

Blueberry soda mixed with ginger soda.  I could barely type that without tears of joy. 

The pricing isn't phenomenal (for breakfast), but it's worth the value and you're worth it:
Buttermilk Fried Chicken with Waffles:  $11.95
Main Root Soda (unlimited refills):  $2.50

The Garage (Downtown OKC) http://www.eatatthegarage.com/
Jon and I went here after we decided against attending H&8th and also after Packard's was completely booked...was my last blog so good that Packard's is constantly busy?  I hope.

I was a little confused on the concept of The Garage, but I think I have the hang of it now:

If you sit at the bar you get full service (drinks and food), but if you sit at a table you only get a bartender and you have to go to the counter (not the same as the bar) to order your food where you get a number.  After typing this it sounds really simple, but maybe that's because I like to see my instructions not hear them?  Anyway, confusion is cleared. 

I ordered the jalapeno margarita and a hamburger with fries.  Enjoyed it all.  The jalapeno margarita actually tasted like the jalapeños had been infused in the tequila and I didn't see any signs of actual jalapenos so maybe this is the case.  It was a tasty little beverage.  If you don't like spicy, try it anyway.  It isn't the kind of jalapeno that leaves your tongue out wanting a dairy product.  Hamburger and fries were good, but now that there's a hamburger joint popping up on every corner, I'm kind of getting burgered out.  Worth a visit and they may have one of the best patios I've seen, plus it's all kind of hidden which I find nice.

H&8th (http://h8thokc.com/)
Backtracking to H&8th in case you're new to this lingo.  Basically food trucks gather on Hudson and 8th street on the last Friday of each month.  There's live music, an overwhelmingly amount of people and limited parking.  If you go to H&8th make sure you take a shot of patience before doing so and also wear comfortable shoes.  You will, undoubtedly, wait in a line to get food for 45+ minutes.  It is a great, free community event that welcomes all, including furry friends and kiddos.  I think after a few more go rounds it will continue to improve.  Definitely worth attending! 

District House (http://www.districthouseokc.com/)
We visited here over the weekend, we actually needed to utilize their restroom as a dressing room for a boutique's photoshoot.  We bribed them with coffee purchases, not that we needed to because they were so friendly and gladly allowed us to invade their space.  I personally just really enjoy local coffee shops over chains, much cozier, homier and I mean it's local.  What more do I need to say?  Cool space in the Plaza District (http://www.plazadistrict.org/) which I'm finding a lot of you aren't real familiar with yet.  I'm not 100% oriented with the area, but I'm getting there.

Basically it's a down to earth, local, hipster-ish crowd that welcomes all.  All the businesses have each other's back.  You go to one they recommend another and vice versa, nice to see in a world of competition. 

Empire Slice House (http://empireslicehouse.com/)
I maybe would've married pizza if that were an option, instead I found a husband who loves it just as much as me. 

I was eager to try Empire (and every place offering pizza).  I had a slice of 'Fungus Among Us' (Portobello, shiitake, and button mushroom, spinach, light truffle oil) for $3.25/slice and half a house salad for $4.50.  I normally would need a few more slices, but this one got the job done.  It was really tasty, but I may not be the best judge for this joint since I truly find it difficult to dislike anything to do with pizza.

Basically make a day (or weekend) of the Plaza:  District House for breakfast, do some shopping, visit Empire Slice for lunch, visit an art gallery, have a glass of wine at Urban Wineworks, grab some dinner at The Mule and maybe see a show at Lyric Theatre.  You're welcome.  It's not easy being a Type A, but it comes in handy.


Sean Cummings Pub (http://seancummingspub.com)
Little Pub right off May and Grand that you can hide away in.  It isn't a very big place, but it is relative to Vito's so it does have the cozy appeal that you hope to walk into.  We got there for happy hour and dinner; it wasn't long before the place filled up.  They also had a 2-man band performing live.  I can't state enough how much better live music is.  I think the mall, Wal-Mart, Target, 7-11 and every place should provide live music. 

Our server was great.  Quick and attentive.  I ordered the corned beef and cabbage as well as a Pilsner or two.  Food was great and tasted like authentic Irish dish.

We got our checks and then decided to have one last beverage.  Wanting to feel Irish and all, I asked the server for a suggestion.  She explained this Irish Ginger Ale and we were sold.  We soon realized how big of amateurs we were.  It actually didn't resemble ginger ale soda, at all.  Basically it was Jameson with some sort of ginger juice concoction.  Not really our cup of tea, but we drank it.  This would be a good place to visit for a date night, if you have friends in town, or just want to try something good.

I'll leave you with the Irish blessing they have on the menu:

May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire



{Mother's Day is this Sunday, folks.  It's always a good idea to go the extra mile for moms.  I have reservations for my mom and I, but I can't spill the beans yet since it's a surprise.}

OKC Recent Reviews

This month I've ventured out and finally explored some of OKC's new-ish and maybe not so new-ish spots.  If you didn't already know, OKC is growing like a weed.  Blink and you'll miss a new landmark.  I already really enjoy Oklahoma City, but I was telling a friend I finally feel like we have enough places if I had a visitor I could truly show them a unique, good time.  Enough chitter chatter, let's get the review party started!

Peloton http://pelotonwinebar.com/

Peloton is the new wine bar café connected to Schlegel Bicycles.  I have now been here twice this month, more times to come.  It's a quaint add on to the trendy bike shop and has a unique feel to it.  I really enjoy the patio, I will 9 times out of 10 always recommend a venues patio over their indoor seating.  The staff is nice, talkative and chill.  The food---DELISH.  I ordered the Cuban Panini with the spinach salad.  It honestly is one of my favorite sandwiches and I'm kind of a sandwich snob.  They also have flavored lemonade.  My friend was wanting a refreshing adult beverage and they suggested vodka with their basil lemonade---total win.  I ordered one, too.  I mean I can't let someone experience something alone.  Also, you don't have to be into cycling to enjoy this spot, but you'll probably end up wanting one.

Packard's http://packardsokc.com/

Oh how I love Packard's.  Last summer I visited their rooftop (killer by the way) for a small birthday but never had the pleasure, until recently, to dine in.  My husband, friend and I stopped in for a drink and dessert a few weeks back.  Can I just start with our server was awesome?  Normally I feel like servers lead me in the wrong direction when it comes to recommendations, but hers were spot on.  I wanted something different with a zing and she lead me to The Blossom (St. Germain, Brut Rose, Soda & Lemon).  It was life changing.  New favorite cocktail by far.  Get your pens out, I'm about to give you a little educating in liqueur:

St. Germain is made from elderflower that blossoms in the French Alps.  That alone should tell you that you're getting into something good.  More on this, here:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/13/st-germain-liqueur_n_1590006.html

Moving on to one of my favorite food groups:  Dessert.  I ordered the cheesecake in a jar.  You read that right.  CHEESECAKE IN A FLIPPIN' JAR.  Here's the thing, it doesn't take much to impress my sweet tooth, but if it did, this cheesecake in a jar would've won the gold. 

Other than the rooftop, service, drinks and dessert being top notch, the design is atmospherically excellent.  I can't even explain the greatness, you just need to experience it yourself.

Vito's Ristorante http://vitosokc.com/
Vito's came about in 2004---Happy 10 years, Vito's!  The only thing I'm mad about is that I just now got around to visiting this gem. 

I went for a birthday dinner this week and sat on the patio.  Service was rocking and he was super kind; he actually looked at the date on my ID (when I ordered my Italian Margarita, of course) and wished me a happy birthday.  If you know me, I love attentiveness---brownie points.  While I was waiting there was a basket of homemade fresh bread with oil and vinegar.  I don't shy away from carbs, I actually have more of a magnetic force with them.  Obviously I already love bread with oil and vinegar---but this wasn't your Olive Garden (no offense, OG) style treat.  The oil was composed of garlic and other tasty elements that made it much different.  Then there's the bread, the fresh, homemade bread.  Excuse me while I wipe the drool off my keyboard from just thinking about it.  I don't know what they do or how they do it, but the bread alone is worth a visit.

It's kind of illegal to go to an Italian restaurant and not order a pasta dish.  I went with Fat Tony's Pasta Special with linguine pasta and meat balls.  I feel like you already know "that's amore!".  It came out in true Italian style, portions for days!  If I visit Vito's too often this dish will be called Fat April's Pasta Special.

To top it off I got a free tiramisu for my birthday.  You're probably thinking, free desserts don't taste as good as paid-for desserts.  WRONG.  I'd have paid if I had to. 

They have created a naturally charming aura.  Literally has the cultural feel of a quaint Italian ristorante.  I'd love to be taken here for a date night (take note, gentleman).

Urban Johnnie http://www.urbanjohnnie.com/
Totally trendy.  Located in Deep Deuce.  Our first server was spectacular and had an accent and would say things like "Sure, Love", "You got it, Love", etc.  Our table of girls were all feelin' the love.  You may not visit this area thinking it will be a little compact, but they offer free parking in the Level parking garage.  Hold on, free parking, in a garage?  Yeah, that's almost too good to be true. 

We went for a birthday happy hour and dinner this week.  The happy hour was good, the usual discount on domestic bottles and drafts ($2/each).

I've been upbeat for most of my reviews, but I have to be honest, I didn't love the food.  We ordered chips, queso and salsa, cheese fries, buffalo dum dums, a beer (or two) and I also tried the Berry Jane cocktail.  What you need to know about me is I love all potato products.  We are a kindred spirit.  The cheese fries were subpar.  The cheese was kind of cold and they didn't seem incredibly fresh.  I honestly am not 100% sure what a buffalo dum dum is, but I won't order it again.  It may be a great choice if you're into it, maybe I'm just not into it?  My husband would probably really enjoy them. 

The Berry Jane cocktail.  Sad face.  I was so spoiled at Packard's I thought maybe I was going to be getting another refreshing, enlightening new taste to provide my palate.  It was dull.  I don't have a kinder way to say it.  It wasn't bad, but I should've just stuck with my beer.

Skinny Slims https://www.facebook.com/SkinnySlimsOkc
I can't speak for every night, but I can speak for Thursday night.  This place is and should be everybody's happy place.  We stopped by here after Urban Johnnie and it was a great decision. 

The bartender took a shot with me because he didn't think I should have to take one alone for my birthday.  They had live music by Erick Taylor (https://www.facebook.com/ErickTaylorMusic).   "Team work makes the dream work" is a true statement in this scenario.  When the bartender and musician work together to provide a good time, it is noticeably better than other bars.  Everyone in this skinny bar was singing and you could feel an essence of camaraderie in the place.  Erick asked what kind of music I liked (being the birthday girl and all), I was going with 90's but Shauna yelled out that I like "TAYLOR SWIFT!"  It's not a lie.  I didn't expect him to actually perform any T-Swift tunes, but much to our surprise he did and it was fab.  He also rounded up the guests in the bar to sing me happy birthday---I love birthdays so much.  I think everyone with a birthday should go to one of Erick's shows for a birthday jam.

We were probably getting close to winding down our night when the bartender came by and said:

"This is a lame birthday"  (it really wasn't), but I responded with "You're welcome to improve it."  he did just that, see below:

Yes, he lined up shots on our table and proceeded to set them on fire!  If you notice in the first picture everyone looks so happy.  To be clear, we don't know these people---this is what I meant by you could feel a sense of camaraderie.  The people of OKC are absolutely one of the greatest aspects our city has to offer.


Okay, I've thrown 5 new options at you.  I don't expect you to visit them all in one week, but definitely don't pass them by.  The best ingredient to my visits is good company.  I don't recommend going anywhere with out it.

{Have a Happy Easter}

Privacy is a Privelege

I get unreasonably irritated when I witness someone giving a shout out on a social networking site to another person (or pet) who will never see it.  Sure, you're being nice, but just like my post yesterday, being nice doesn't make anyone or anything any more likable.

We haven't antiqued the idea of cards, folks.  A good old fashioned hand written card.  A personal reading for the individual who receives it.  A way to express in words what is generally a little tougher to speak.  All of the above should be private.  It should be an honor for the recipient to know that the words you articulated were intended just for them.  Words of gratitude and thankfulness are not meant to pride your kindness.  You shouldn't be asking for attention  ("likes") in response to your expression towards another individual.  There is something very special about an intimate friendship, companionship, and relationship that doesn't always need to be shared with the commoners.

I'd like to think that the majority of my close people have an understanding, without overly expressional posts, how much they mean to my life.  My husband is truly one of the kindest human beings I'll ever meet.  I cherish his acts of kindness and quite honestly I don't think all of you should be privileged to be a part of it all.  Privacy is a privilege that many of you toss in Tuesday's trash. 

Even thinking back on my childhood, there are aspects I wouldn't share with "followers" because it diminishes the meaning and, selfishly speaking, it's my memories!  I don't want everyone to be a part of special moments I had.  And can I add I am thankful that my parents didn't post my drawings, notes, assignments, etc. on the world wide web for all to stop by and see?!  I realize I'm not a parent, but it has got to be embarrassing.  Parents aren't cool until you're out of high school.  Put it on the fridge, not on Facebook. 

I've noticed parents posting photos of their children, and by children I mean school age kiddos, eating BREAKFAST.  I don't know about you, but if you even dare to bring out a camera in the AM you're asking to be my enemy.  Cool, you made your family pancakes.  Bravo,  you provided your family with food.  Congratulations, you're part of the percentage that will be sending their children to school fed.  Instead of posting pictures of your stack of 'cakes, how about ya donate some of that networking time to volunteering at a food pantry?  I mean, I can't guarantee you'd have time to glove up, flip hundreds of pancakes AND take pictures to share, but it may be good for the soul.

More info here:  http://www.regionalfoodbank.org/Take-Action/Volunteer/FAQ 

If you think "Cards are too expensive" and you're in OKC, there's a Hallmark store going out of business (go figure, validating my post), off of May by the Old School Bagel Café that has cards for 50-75% off.

{Happy Hump Day}

Newlywed at 27

Being a newlywed didn't sound so different than our serious relationship we were already in, but I'm here to tell you---things got a lot more serious.  True teamwork comes with a marriage, or should.    Back during a cold month of being 26 an argument occurred (not with me, surprisingly) about why somebody (no name) dislikes someone else (again, no name).  The only, and I do mean the only, reason the arguer had to like unsaid person was that they are "nice."  Newsflash:  Being nice doesn't make you a likeable person.  While it certainly can't hurt to be kind, I've found in my adult years to find my likeness of others to be in their honesty, intelligence, humor, professionalism, goals, ambitions, sincerity, as well as their ability to try new things, make time for others, thoughtfulness, and so forth.  I mean sure, if we all liked every nice person the world would probably be a better place, but so dull.  I'm not saying cause a ruckus and be hateful, I'm saying, be kind, but be selective with your likings.  After all, who and what you like says a lot about you.

This really is leading to our newly found knowledge as newlyweds.  When you don't like someone, be cautious who you let know.

During these short six months of marriage Jon and I have both learned to solely confide in each other on certain discussions.  We've truly experienced the wrath that comes with divulging information to individuals, who:

A)  Cannot contain the information.
B)  Dramatize the information.
C)  Attempt to look like the victim.
D)  Take passive aggressive actions.

My advice if you're about to be a newlywed, are a newlywed, or are just trying to save the drama for yo mama is to confide in your spouse, the one confidant you have.  Vent to that person, cry to that person, yell to (not at) that person and let that person do the same with you.  I know what you're probably thinking, "this is so not true, I can trust my mom!"  And I'm sure you can, just as I can.  But the sad truth is, you cannot confide in everyone.  I've found that having a spouse trumps all listening ears when it comes to exposing feelings.  They allow you to change your mind without judgment, like somebody one day and dislike them another, be mad one minute and happy the next.

But how do I discontinue person and personal conversations with an untrusting individual?  It takes a little practice, so it's good to go in with a game plan:

1.  Make a goal to change the topic if negative conversations about another person comes up.

2.  Do not engage.  Do not engage.  Do not engage.  As a girl this is probably a little tougher because we are chatty little creatures.  The worst thing you can do with someone you cannot trust is to engage in their negative conversation about another person.  It will 99% of the time come back to haunt you.  While this may work fine with your girlfriends, there are individuals that you've got to bite your tongue with.  Your words go in one ear, out their one mouth and it all generates back to you looking like a five letter word.

3.  Positive reinforcement, for example: 
Instigator:  "I cannot believe she bought that purse, it's so ugly." 
You:  "I have plenty of strange pieces that no one would purchase!"  OR a personal favorite, "To each their own."
A gossip queen does not want to continue conversing with someone who doesn't bash the same.

I can tell you firsthand our game plan proved to be successful.  Of course, if you don't have a spouse, you have to talk to someone, just know everyone is willing to listen, choose wisely.


{Happy Tuesday}

Life Five Months Married.

We're in the "How's married life?" phase.  I thought a blog would be the best explanation.

Married life.  It's just that.  Jon and I lived together before we exchanged vows so not a lot has changed.  For this I am thankful.  I know this choice isn't for everyone, but it worked for us.  Even my Granny suggested it.  We have families who trust our decisions and didn't push ideas on us.  Some have it a little more difficult.

I cook a little more and my last name is different.  That's about as much change as I want in our relationship.  Neither of us held anything back before we were married.  He knew I was a true Aries, bold and aggressive.  And he follows his Capricorn suit, patient and ambitious.  I'm really not an astrologist, but I can't disagree with a lot of it.

Obviously when you're marrying someone families play a large role, but one of the things Father Bright told us in our pre-marital session was, "You are marrying each other, not your families."  For whatever reason this stuck with me.  It was also kind of a relief.  Not in a cruel way, but it makes a lot of sense.  You spend time with this one person who has invested their time in getting to know you.  They didn't do all the hard work for a multitude of others; if someone wants to be in a committed relationship with you, it's their responsibility to put in the work.  Relationships are big.  Marriage is huge.  Nobody just earns the hierarchical position in some one's life because of affiliation.   And I think it's illegal to exchange vows with multiple people at the same time anyway.  You exchange vows with one person.  Just one.  Just once.  This is serious business, y'all.

If not for weddings I'm not sure a lot of women would choose to get married.  A lot just want that one moment, that spotlight.  Guys get married because they want you, which is probably why a lot of them are game for visiting the courthouse to accomplish this, I know Jon would've been fine with it.  There's a reason divorce rates are up and it's not because weddings are down.  Did you know they changed the etiquette on second weddings to make them more acceptable to be just as big as the first?  I'm not opposed to anyone who wants a large event, but to change the etiquette is saying that the original idea is now antique.  The idea of marriage shouldn't be vintage.  I don't disagree with divorce, I disagree with poor judgment on what marriage is. 

These are my opinions, they don't fit everyone, nor should they.

So, married life?  It's really good.  I have no complaints.  We've found our match and life is even sweeter.

"Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family."

Golden Rule

I'm not sure what cobweb the 'Golden Rule' climbed out of, but it managed to get in my brain this afternoon.  My brain doesn't let things go easily so it had to dissect the ole GR.

We've all heard it, whether biblically (Luke 6:31) or from a teacher at some time: "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

Starting as young as kindergarten I remember having a birthday party and HAVING to invite the whole class as to not hurt any one's feelings.  We grow up (hopefully) and let go of that rule.  I've gotten to the point where I don't feel the need to go over and beyond for everyone or to go out of my way to include someone in a soiree to pamper their emotions.  Let's be honest, I'm not the pampering kind. 

Since you weren't invited to an event you decide to throw the infamous pity party.  You've decided that someone deliberately set out to hurt your feelings. 

There are things Jon and I are invited to and things we're not.  To be honest, I/we normally have enough going on that it's a relief to not be invited sometimes.  I always feel an obligation to attend or guilt for not attending.  I'd like to think I lie more on the "no big deal" side of the line.  But if you're not sure, I thought I'd provide a little list and maybe you'll find some relief in the reasoning:

Why You Weren't Invited

1.  It has nothing to do with you.  A little bird who doesn't favor you got in the ear of the host and the host decided to keep drama out of the event.  Makes sense.  If you're Heath you invite them anyway to see what kind of drama can develop.

2.  Your significant other isn't favored amongst the crowd.  Again, nothing to do with you---but let's be honest, nobody wants the disliked lover to interfere with a good time.

3.  Poor attendance log.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, when you've been rejected so many times in any sort of relationship you eventually throw your hands in the air.  No one dislikes you, you're just a flake.

4.  Attention whore.  You tend to wear people out.  While you're fun to grab drinks with, some events are better left to be even keel.

5.  Restriction on number of guests.  You've really got to be rational on this one.  You probably aren't going to be chosen over the best friend of 10 years.  You're not unimportant, you're just lacking a few years. 

6.  No one has heard from you in months.  Reciprocity, folks. Relationships require an equal effort on both sides; sort of neighbors #3.  You're not disliked, but your lack of communication is.

7.  You've grown apart.  Sigh.  It was fun while it lasted.

8.  You don't mesh.  This isn't offensive, you just normally look like you're having a bad time and you don't branch out.  It's really seen to be in your favor to not be invited. 

9.  The "no thanks" type.  You don't eat, drink or even sit.  The corner is your BFF and you make people feel uncomfortable.  You require a lot of effort; you're an infant in a social affair.  Indulge a little!

10.  You're an acquaintance.  The host really enjoys your company, but mentally battled inviting you and having to spend a significant amount of time with you to make you feel welcome and involved.    After a few more happy hours and dinners you'll get more invites.  Hang in there.

11.  You're just not liked.  Family, friend, acquaintance, pet, whatever you may be.  We're not in kindergarten and we don't have to invite the whole class anymore.  It's not a requirement to like everyone and that is praiseworthy.

12.  "Your invitation got lost in the mail."  Not really, but you were accidentally forgotten about. Don't make matters worse.  Accept it and move on.


No matter what you are or are not invited to---Eat, Drink & Be Merry.

Our Winter Update

Today is my sweet husband's 34th birthday--I love birthdays, age makes no difference.

This Friday has been one of joy, sadness and exhaustion.  I'm finding myself dedicating specific emotions towards the appropriate situations.  Brains are pretty miraculous to juggle it all and keep you functioning.

With my dad still being very sick from his surgery, I accompanied my mom at the closing of their new home this morning.  My dad has really been looking forward to their new house.  He's been monitoring the building process and it's been nice for him to have something to look forward to other than occupational therapy.  It was sad for him to miss signing the bazillion pieces of paper.  My dad doesn't miss things, he just doesn't and never has.  Oh you worked today so you're too tired to do something?  That's not my dad's M.O.  he's never been too tired, too hurt, too anything to not just be there for it all.  Of course, this was an understandable absence.

While waiting for the closing my mom received a call that my Granny's urn had arrived from Africa.  It's surreal.  How many people wait for someone's flight who have passed?  It's been a first for us.  My mom is running on autopilot right now.  I'm talking do not get in her way; there's not the slightest jokinginess in my tone.  A lot of you probably don't know that she spent day and night for three weeks at the hospital with my dad.  Day and night, folks.  My family has most definitely been spoiled by my mom's dedication.  Miranda Priestly has nothing on Tammy Mass.

About two weeks into the three week stay she received the phone call that her mother, my granny, had passed away overnight.  Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we had been through enough?  If this were a wrestling match I tapped out a long time ago.  My granny lived in Africa the past 26+ years.  I would tell you what all she's done but eBlogger might cut me off.  She was in the process of moving back to the United States and was a very lively, well travelled person with a lot to say and was the perfect example of a helper bee.  After my dad's emergency my mom and granny had been talking daily, my mom found it peculiar when she didn't hear from her on Friday, December 27th.  I didn't and may not fully process her passing.  My mom called me that morning and said, "Is Jon with you?  I'd like to talk to him." This was odd, but she wanted to make sure I wasn't alone when she told me.  I think at this point I had poured all emotions into my dad's traumatic experience and didn't have much left to give.  I was more upset thinking about my mom.  Fist in gut moment.  In one aspect we're so very grateful for my dad and then you're hit with another downer. 

The next few days and weeks didn't give us much time for grieving.  My mom had to correspond with the US Embassy, "friends" and attorneys of my Granny's in Africa and more.  These were all people we'd never met, spoken to or known.  With Africa being so corrupt the communication with these strangers brought a lot of doubt and questionable motives.  My mom is, without a doubt, the most admirable person.  If I even get an ounce of her determination in life I'll be set.  When I said do not get in her way, this wasn't a local demand---this means you too, Africa.

So here we are.  Jon's birthday, closing on a home, Granny's return to the US and dad's journey of recovery.  Each has it's own good, but the situations themselves aren't all good. 

We continue to be very appreciative of the constant support from close friends.  One of Jon's words he teaches his 6th graders is "initiative."  I can't thank everyone enough for taking initiative with your support.

Here's a video if you're interested...it has a happy ending if that helps. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9LR90A4D7Q

Space Renovation (Part I)

If you follow me on Instagram you know I've been working the paint brush like there's no tomorrow.

Back in June House Beautiful came out with an issue with a jewel tone blue room on the cover---I fell in complete design love.  Seven months later I am finally getting around to starting my inspired project.

Months ago my dad designed the built-in-bookcase for me.  I'm talking full dimensions of everything and a hefty supply list.  He's basically my go-to genius for all things home, especially when it has to do with numbers.  For Christmas my sweet Jon got me sample blue paints--he knew once I had these in my hands I'd be unstoppable.  He was right.  I'm just having to convince my brain to slow its roll.  I'm so impatient, even when I know something can't be done in 5 minutes.  And there is what we call admitting our own faults. 

With my dad's condition he unfortunately can't be my awesome, free labor, so we're using the same consultant we used for our shower re-do.  This is quirky but one of the things I'm enjoying about being a homeowner is gathering a handful of go-to people (ex. heat and air, plumbing, etc.).  The guy we use, who I'm hesitant to name because I don't want everyone taking up time I need him (selfish, I know), is basically the bomb.com---said it don't regret it.

The downside of all this is my dad and I would go hang out at home supply/building stores researching products, for now I'm a solo shopper.  I don't mind, but I have to be told in elementary terms what does what.  I know what I need, but don't you dare try and throw another option at me using different numbers---I've worked really hard to understand this very strategic design.

Besides all that, here's the progress we've made:  The ceiling + walls have been painted.  Don't even think "that's it?"  Our ceiling reaches about 20ish feet.  I immediately regretted painting on my own.  Thankfully I recruited my 6'5" husband to handle most of the task.  Also, don't judge the photo below---it isn't the most current & the blue dries darker than the image shows.  The floor, lighting and dresser will all be removed, FYI.

Between an 8' ladder, a step ladder, a 12' extension pole, rollers, brushes, edgers, and arm muscles we managed to successfully paint the space.

 

I'll see you back here when we hit our next big step---the bookcase.

2013 Reflection

What a year!  There's been a lot of happiness, joy, devastation, sadness, and all that's in between. 

Engagement, wedding, honeymoon, failed trip to Florida, dad's emergency surgery and my Granny passing away.  And of course all the petty stuff to really add the cherry on top. 

We began the year with our engagement and I really had only planned on the year being solely about our wedding and new marriage---my were we in for an emotional treat!  I'm the first to admit that I'm not the best at unplanned situations.  For as creative as my brain is, I run 95% on organization and a set agenda.

Where am I going with this?  I think I'm trying to explain how unstructured my year has felt.  Yep, that's it.

In our world of medicine, it really is complicated to wrap my head around.  When the surgeon explained my dad's aortic tear post-surgery in a drawing on his white board all I could really think was that it looked like a piece of abstract art.  I couldn't repeat the terms enough times in my head to remember what all he was saying (to Google later, of course.)  I only remembered "False Lumen" by relating it to lemon...which, by the way, have nothing to do with one another.

My go-to method for coping is documentation.  Sounds weird, but it's my thing.  I guess I have a fear of forgetting.  My dad taught me to document.  I assume this is where my love for photography came from.  Not just the good times, all of them.  I knew my dad would want to know about what had happened while he was paralyzed and sedated so what other choice did I have but to, say it with me: DOC-U-MENT.  Boy was I right.  He told McClain (a family friend) that he wished someone had videoed his surgery so he could see what they did.  Well, I didn't video a lot, but I did take pictures.  Don't start thinking I'm creepy...or do, it really is no matter.

Really the images are a great reminder of the amount of progress made in the last 3.5 weeks.  People, I'm talking serious progress---like baby's first steps kind of thing.

I remember the moment at Target when it actually hit me that "this is the moment, my dad is dying".  I told Jon I didn't have anything to say.  You see in movies or hear stories about people who regret not saying things or wish someone knew how much they loved them.  All I could think was he isn't doubting how much I love him and I didn't need to hear it either.  He stayed alert during it all---rare.  While I was on the phone with 9-1-1 he kept repeating "CASHIER 17, CASHIER 17" to tell EMSA where to find us.  During my panicked phone call to Jon my dad was telling me, "I'm okay, Ape." (While lying on the Target floor)  Far from the truth, but it was good to hear.  

The next 48 hours were critical and we were mainly in hopeful devastation, if that makes any sense?  The doctors and surgeons were very clear about the severity and mortality rate of this.  For a moment I thought about asking the doctor if I could offer some illegal bribe to ensure he really focus and get the job done.  Every person's situation is personal to him or her; with them seeing emergencies all the time I was afraid they would generalize my dad's life with others they had seen.  We learned about the drastic measures taken during his surgery.  They did what they call "The Big Chill", where they drained all of his blood and decreased his body temperature to 18 degrees.  They have 45 minutes to work under these conditions and then have to get the body going again.  I'm assuming unless you're a doctor in the room during this, it's really hard to comprehend.  Obviously I understand the concept, but it still gives an eery essence.  Needless to say, Dr. Garrett restored my faith in his line of work.

3 weeks later and dad is at home.  He's not 100%---I'd say probably 65% for now.  Give or take.  He's still very fragile and the easiest tasks are exhausting---eating, walking, using the restroom, showering, etc.  He's bored.  Even with the exhaustion he wants to get out and do something, ANYTHING.  Therapists are becoming his BFFs, when they can keep up. 

Most of you know I have a very small family and I know we are forever grateful for the kindness and thoughtfulness from our friends who we consider to be part of our extended family.  It's hard to lean on others when I really only lean on three people: My mom, dad & Jon.  I am appreciative of my best friend Megan, her husband and sister who brought us dinner while my dad was still undergoing surgery.  I know these situations are handled with care, nobody really knows what to say or do and nobody wants to seem overbearing or in your face--when really, it's not such a bad thing to be asked questions and talk about what's going on.  I am grateful for Anna, one of my mom's best friends, for sitting with us while my dad was in surgery and adding a pleasant demeanor to complete turmoil.  Father Bright was the perfect distraction that we needed.  He had a way of telling humorous stories that got us off track for a second and of course had comforting words at the most needed times.  Carole popping in to see us, Hayley stopping by the hospital to have a coffee with me, Susan & Kent bringing "Heart Healthy" snacks, Ray visiting and having a long chat with dad, the parishioners at All Souls' Episcopal Church and all of the compassion shown was a relief from the situation.  The phone calls, cards, visits, flowers, meals, gifts and all that everyone has done will not be forgotten.

We've been on a bit of a rocky road and are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I know a lot of you are curious about his progress and I plan to keep you updated.  In the meantime the lyrics "started from the bottom, now we here" come to mind when I look at these pictures...

Be heart healthy, go to your check ups and utilize your doctors.